Old-time radio play... in space?

The little sister of one of my oldest friends...let's call him Forrest (because that's his name, and we might as well keep picking on him) reached out to me on facebook with an idea that I couldn't turn down, to write a serialized radio play for her theater troupe.

First, let me make this totally clear: I am a life-long fan of Firesign Theater. 

I love every last bit of every thing they did, and I honestly can't tell you how many times I've listened to Ralph Spoilsport, Nick Danger, or Tiny Little Doctor Tim, living in a life-size replica of the Taj Mahal made entirely out of oleomargarine. If you're shaking your head in disbelief at the moment, I can commiserate - but I'd also suggest you RUN (don't walk) to get your hands on as much Firesign Theater as you can.

Also, to be clear - in no way, shape or form, will what I write bear even the slightest bit of resemblance to Firesign Theater, aside from the fact that people will be reading the script live, with sound effects. Instead of radio, they're going to put it up on a podcast - but other than that, I am confident that my attempt will be at best, a very pale imitation of the true comedic genius that was Firesign. 

It was suggested that I take some moments from my books, and trim them down, cut them up, and hybridize them into thirty minute serials... but I had a better idea. 

I am instead, writing Brand New™ material, using this opportunity to flesh out a moment in the book that was really just briefly described, but for which there are vast opportunities for expansion and dialog. 

Which moment, you might be asking?

Sorry, I wish I could tell you. Forrest only lives ten hours away, you know, and while that's pretty far to drive for a vacation, it's really not that far at all when you have an ass-kicking to deliver.

I am really excited about this opportunity to push a new dimension of entertainment, and have completed the first draft of the first episode, though it's really little more than a sketch at this point, and needs a bit more work before it's ready. 

The style of writing is a lot different from what I am used to, but it really gives me a lot of great opportunities to play on human reactions - and after all, that is pretty important. We as listeners become a fly on the wall to the event, watching and listening to it unfold. 

I can say 'it smelled like the worst thing you can imagine' in a book, but when you hear Gene howl in anguish at the miserably nasty reek leaking through the slowly opening hatch, well, that's a whole new dimension! 

Oh blast. I may have given too much away there.

Giving away the story

I have a childhood friend named Forrest who is adamant, and I use that in the man-of-steel manner, that at no time in or around his person, should the ending of any story ever be told. 

Now, I know we all have these tendencies - but as an author, telling people about the ideas I am having works so well to grow the story, it's almost as much of a part of the process as writing it. 

It's like being part of a book club for which there is no book. The end result, is really amazing. All day I think about different little layers and details, then at night when I get home, I hammer them into existence on my keyboard. 

It's a good thing Forrest lives ten hours away. It makes it almost impossible for me to ruin the story for him. 

Not that I wouldn't really enjoy seeing more of him, because I would - he's an awesome person, through and through - but he would intensely hate me giving away the story, even a tiny little piece. He probably wouldn't even want to read this post, writing a story about giving away a story would almost certainly carry some of the same weight for him.

No, Forrest would have me run out of his sight on a rail, suitably tarred, and/or feathered, as appropriate. Not really, but he would fix me with a look of imminent mood change, and I would relent, naturally - he is my friend after all. 

Many of you might want me to share the story I'm writing, think about where it's headed next... but there's a double-edge to that wicked sword we just found, and it's a good thing I noticed, because you might have cut us both to ribbons. Here, put that blasted thing down before you hit the cat.

What was I saying? Ah, yes. 

As an author, it's really hard for me to share the story as it unfolds, because at this point, it's a fragile little structure, timid and shy, and prone to instantaneous failures of existence. As I talk about it, or think out loud, some times I run the risk of listening to myself.

We should always, in all ways, try to avoid that. Each and every one of us sounds like buffoons, so it makes it easier. 

As much as I might want to tell you the type of story I am writing, I can't. While many of you would enjoy being part of the process, watching the the next book grow and form, in little samples, snippets, out-takes and cutting room casualties... at least one of you will be Forrest, and others will appreciate his fervent guardianship of the story to lesser extents.

Heck, maybe we all do, deep down.

(If you want me to include you in the super secret inner-circle group of friends I send random thoughts and ideas to, leave a small, brown paper wrapped package behind the bridge on the next moonless night. I'll be the one wearing the carnation mustache, and the crimson tie. Don't tell Forrest. I am looking at you, Dale.)

Tangled torments

Writing is like, punishing yourself for thinking.

You have a story inside, but it's a tangled mess. Unraveling it is often less fun than trying to overhaul a 1400 yard twisted nylon longline skate with a few hundred halibut hooks all tangled in their beckets and ganyons, festering with the rotten bait that wasn't cleaned off the season before, in the pouring cold April rain of Southeast Alaska.

And before you ask... yes, I know personally how horrible it is to do the above, getting paid $10 per skate, having a monstrous pile of tangled mess on one side of a table, and a tiny little pile representing a meager grocery shopping trip (eggs and maybe milk, but not bread) on the other - a weeks worth of work. Bloody palms rubbed raw with that most exquisite of modern torture devices, the Swedish Fid...but I digress on my digressions.

The point I was trying to make, is pulling a story out of the snarled mess that is my mind on the best of days is one of those life-changing tough challenges like training to be a Navy Seal, or talking a seven-year-old daughter out of another Hello Kitty toy. My problem, such as it is, is that my story isn't just the books I've written - it's about 20 more waiting for their time to filter through my fingers into the screen, and then into the mind of my readers.

I have things I feel like I have to do to set the stage for other things that set the stage for even more things, and honestly, I can't tell you how many times I write the same exact thing, not remembering that I wrote about that 20 pages earlier. I read a sentence, and my head practically explodes with great ideas I have to ruthlessly, savagely denigrate into submission, or I'd never get anything written.

Is it a curse, or a gift? My readers sure seem to like the end result, and for that, I can't thank them enough for the motivation and encouragement to go on... every person that takes the time to write a review on Amazon, is like literally walking up to me and giving me a hug, as if to say "There, there, it'll all be okay... you can do it, just keep writing!"

And so, on I go... into the endless black depths of my head, looking for the thread that lets me unravel this mess into a story we can all be proud of. Wish me luck!

(P.S. As I was writing this, I got my 1000th twitter follower! Congratulations @surrealinsight, you get a free chrome-plated toaster that works. Just kidding, you get a retweet... but you deserve so much more!)

Casting roles part II

Fantasy Casting

We all play this game: read a great book (like The Monkeywrench Gang, by Edward Abbey) and then try to come up with the cast if it was made into a movie.

Maybe it's a testament to the character development, the story, the pace of the books (or a combination of all of the above) but many people (myself included) can easily envision movies being made about Captain Dak Smith and the crew of the Archaea. Some of my readers have been playing a similar game with my books, coming up with their dream cast for the roles of each character.

So far, on twitter, facebook, and emails I've reached a pretty good consensus on some of the characters, though like any other good 'fantasy cast', as people suggest improvements or detractors for actors, I'm happily adjusting.

Captain Dak Smith: So far, the favorite has been Patrick Warburton, narrowly edging out Stephen Colbert. Colbert has the eyebrows, but he's not physically as well suited for the role, I think. His character is so well known, I think it'd be hard for people to see past his personae, and see the part he's playing as the captain. Patrick Warburton has the look, the lantern jaw, the commanding presence, and most importantly, a laconic delivery that would really accentuate the calm and unruffled manner of the captain.

Gene Mitchell: Corbin Bernsen is my personal favorite for this role, he looks the part and he's got a pretty epic scowl. He's smart, opinionated, and has the endearing character that Gene needs. A close runner up is the voice of Cave Johnson, and one of my favorite actors, J.K. Simmons. His only detraction is that he's generally more likable than curmudgeonly, and might not be as believable as a master engineer.

Yak Onebull: Adam Beach would be perfect for this role, though he's not really big enough physically - While a ton of these movies would have to be CGI, I don't know how feasible it would be to shoot Yak like Gollum, Tron Reloaded, or Captain America. It'd be better to find someone that fits the physicality of Yak a little better, though looks-wise, Adam Beach is perfect. He looks smart, tough, and capable.

Jane Short: My personal favorite for Shorty is Natalie Raitano. She's not as well known, but that really can help a movie character stick with the mind of the viewer if they aren't always trying to superimpose previous characters over the top of the one they're seeing played by a well known actor. This is really Stephen Colbert's main downfall. Natalie Raitano is short enough, has a 'cute as a button' look, but is a significantly tough gal. She looks like she could easily elbow hook you into the cold hard deck.

Stephen Pauline: This character is really hard to pin down. Aaron Stanford has been suggested, and he definitely has the right look and character to play Pauli - though he may be a little young. Dak and Pauli came up through the Academy together, so it makes sense that they be roughly the same age (though Pauli is definitely a little younger). Someone else suggested Sean Patrick Flanery. He fits the look well, is close to the same age as Dak, and has a darker personality that fits the role well - but I am not very familiar with either of these actors. I guess for me, the jury is still out, I haven't seen anyone yet that really leaps out as perfect for Pauli.

Do you have any suggestions? Hit me up on facebook or twitter - I'd love to hear from you! Remember... this is all just in good fun. At no point in time do I actually expect my books to be made into blockbuster movies - this is for entertainment purposes only.

If you are one of the above-mentioned actors, please don't send hired goons to knock on my door.

Casting roles...

A fan on twitter is having some fun / getting me in trouble by linking Nathan Fillion into a role of Captain Dak Smith... Of course, I'd crawl through ten miles of broken glass and barbed-wire just to touch the ground he walked on, but thinking more about it, I think we really need him at the helm of Firefly.

So who would work for Captain Smith?

I'd love to see Stephen Colbert, or Patrick Warburton in the role of Captain Smith. They have the supreme confidence, the rapid fire wit, the heroic never-fail attitude, and of course - the correct eyebrows. That's the most important. Either of them would be awesome.

Thinking about the rest of the crew, it's a pretty fun game to come up with actors for the other roles... Now we need to cast Pauli, Gene, Yak and Shorty (last, but not least...)

Any ideas? Let me know in the comments, or on Twitter @DainWhite - for extra points, link your actor to the tweet. Who knows... maybe one of them will make it happen?

Giving it a kick?

I wish I could just write. My life would be so much simpler, so much more serene... so much more caffeinated. Unfortunately, I can't. My life is only possible, because like many of you, I work for a living somewhere, doing something, and it's not writing. Okay, it is writing... but it's writing code. Equally as addicting, but not as fun as science fiction and adventure.

Many people have begged me to quit my day job and write, but the simple fact is, I can't provide for my family through book sales alone. Not with my current exposure and publication level. What I need to do, is seek a real book deal / contract, or possibly crowd-source funds so I can retire to a comfy spot and start mashing keys in earnest.

I've been thinking about using Kickstarter to try and fund a year's worth of writing. If I could devote 60 hours / week on writing, I could really push out the books - of this I am confident. Janis was written in 30 days, and while my life was pretty much consumed at that point by writing, I was also working.

If I wasn't working, a book / month would be a pretty realistic goal.

How cool would it be to have ten more books from me this year? We can dream, right? Well, I can, anyway. I'll dream enough for everyone, and have some left over to spare.

I'm still thinking about what sort of rewards I could give for Kickstarter. So far I have kicked around ideas of offering signed paperbacks of my books, rights to name characters, planets, suggest cool story ideas...

What else might motivate you to pledge money to make me quit my day job?